FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
