the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
