Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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