he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
How drunk are you?
Completed.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
