I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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