my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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