Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
handjob tips. give me some.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
