Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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