I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
it's like iHOP with fire
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
