my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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