:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
