Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
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