Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
