the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
