you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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