Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
