Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
