wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
