Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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