VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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