i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
