Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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