Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
