o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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