I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
