Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
