What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
