Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
tequila makes me forget i have legs
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
