Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize