escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
