if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
