But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
