reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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