I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
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