So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
