Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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