I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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