Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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