Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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