so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
