he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
