I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
