why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
there's paper in my vomit.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize