google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
