hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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