I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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