i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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