Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
