is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize