is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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