Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
