yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
