So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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