its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
