Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
