I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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