what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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