Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
